Take this quick quiz to find out who the real owner is – you or your wet-nosed darling.

1. When you wake up in the morning, the first thing you do is:
a) Go through your morning routine as your Yorkie looks up at you patiently.
b) Get the paper, a cup of coffee and food for your Yorkie – in that order.
c) Run to fetch your Yorkie its morning meal, and stroke its coat gently while it eats (unless it doesn’t like to be touched while eating, in which case you just sit there looking fondly at it and wait to make sure everything is satisfactory).

2. When your Yorkie yips and jumps up on your face at 3:30 in the morning:
a) You push it off your face, roll over and fall back into slumber.
b) You mutter some unmentionables, but let it take its desired place nuzzled up next to your head with its rear in your face.
c) Your eyes pop open as you coo, “What ‘da matter with my wittle pooky bear?”

3. On a normal shopping trip, you buy:
a) What’s on the list for you and your family and only the essentials for your Yorkie.
b) Equal amounts of supplies for both human and Yorkie.
c) Just enough food for humans to survive; the rest of the budget is spent on a fashionable harness and doggie bed, high-end Yorkie grooming session, any treat that your Yorkie shows interest in, and basically anything else your baby (canine baby, that is) might desire.

4. Your Yorkie:
a) has a puppy-cut and a wardrobe that consists of a harness.
b) Sports a topknot that you try to muster following those simple directions.
c) Is professionally groomed (while you have taken to trimming your own hair in the attempt to save money for doggie salons), has a larger wardrobe than you do and seems to have developed a stylized preference for certain clothes and colors.

5. If there was ever a rule that you were allowed only one framed photo in your home, you would:
a) Make it a portrait of your kids and spouse.
b) Spend a moment of contention, and then decide to hang up the portrait of your kids and spouse (of course).
c) Spend long hours in contemplation over which Yorkie photo to hang up.

6. People who know you see you as:
a) Centered, stable and under control.
b) A generally grounded person, save for some eccentricities toward your Yorkie.
c) Fanatical and absorbed in the Yorkieworld, but you don’t really notice because you’re too busy adjusting the part in your Yorkie’s coiffure.

Now, use this rubric to tally your scores for all of the items: A = 1 point; B = 2 points; C = 3 points.
Check the key below to see where you place on the York-o-meter:

6-10 Points: You’re the Boss!
You are either lying about some of your answers, or you have done the highly unlikely and difficult deed of assimilating a Yorkshire Terrier into your life without making major life-changing accommodations. You love your Yorkie, but it doesn’t own you.

11-14 Points: You’re Still the Boss – Most of the Time.
Bravo! You have managed to discourage the opportunistic Yorkie nature and maintain some semblance of control and normalcy in your life. You are not completely innocent of Yorkie-owner quirks (as your friends have noticed and comment on), but your resources, time and interests are nicely balanced between your human loved ones and your adorable canine companion.

15-18 Points: Yorkie’s the Boss!
With all due respect – you’ve lost it. Your friends have faint memories of your pre-Yorkie days, but they grow fainter each time they see you walking by with your terrier, sporting peewee sunglasses inside a new, top-of-the-line carrier. You forego visiting places where your Yorkie can’t enter and use phrases such as “stay-at-home Yorkie mom or dad”. You have never been happier!

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